what do i do???...

people are unpredictable...

i mean life is unpredictable...

i mean look, once i suffer a heartbreak...

i get up again...and forget it all...i did the most impossible thing..became friends with him,.....

i shouldn't have...i shouldn't have....thats where i went wrong i guess...

now it all seems pissing...there is frustration and insecurity filled in me...i'm feeling low...drastically low at the same time.....how can someone not just consider others feelings!!![he's not the one i'am cursing here, there's another guy i'm talking about]........

its so hard to forgive people for their deeds at times!!....

i'm no god.

this has hurted me gigantically and i am not that brave to face it now...

i mean how many times should i be brave..

is this justice???...

i haven't done anything wrong to anyone until.....then why me????...

i feel so depressed..

.so much insecure..

perhaps i'll need ample of time to get back to me now....loads of time..

cause this is the second time..i'm broken...so much of broken...

no material happiness can surpass this sadness....i'm a very sensitive girl..even a little poke to me, my heart starts bleeding profusely...

i did one more mistake..

trusted people...

i mean i didn't tell any of my secrets to anyone...but i believed in them...i shouldn't have...

i shouldn't have ever entered into another dimension....

i can't believe that someone can lie so much!!...i mean how??

i always end up being optimistic....

but now, i feel as if it just doesn't work.....its not that i'm losing hope..

i know that i'll recover soon...i know that has to be done..positively course...

phew...felt better by writting all this!!!.....
i have this bad habit in me- once if i make bad conclusions about a person..they won't change..

.and my conclusion about a friend of mine won't ever change...i don't care till what extent it might hurt him...

someone who hurts me so badly....i'll never ever talk 2 him....
you know i am feeling damn confussed....

is there no one who i can actually trust???....everytime i do so..it breaks..it cracks...it bursts...

to that great friend of mine i would like to ask-

do you think i am a toy to play with???...

how can you be so stone hearted....not at all considerate?....

lastly i would like to tell him- don't you ever think that i might trust you again....

its never happening again..
i think maybe i should change..

it seems like i am lost in an unknown world..

i don't know whom to trust and whom to not....

i feel like everything's gone far away from me....i won't be the same anymore....

thats the truth...i can't convince myself to remain the same....and i don't feel like being the same....

how i feel so lost!!!!...

so confussed..so frustrated...

so helpless..

there is insecurity running all over through me....and i don't know what to do....
one thing i can do...

sadly its positive thinking...

keep hoping!...

donot lose your patience....

live your life the way i always do...get up again...

smile...

cheer up..

cause i don't think i should cry for a stranger...

why should i spoil it all?...

and wasn't i the one, who had decided that i won't get into any relationship

because its filled with misunderstandings, tension, frustration, fights.

i hope i keep my decision ..i dunno...

i can't assure that....

but writting my mind felt good...really good....